May they be more happy.
"dare not die, dare not marry far away, especially want to make money, because they only have me."
in the past two days, a Beijing man went to hot search. He and his wife were both paralyzed in bed, while the nanny hired by his daughter, he scolded and ran away 20 in half a year.
No one is born with a bad temper, but when he is ill, he is emotionally unstable, thinking that the babysitter costs more than NT $6000 a month, and his daughter is unable to accompany her.
the old lady often cries, too. She practices walking and cooking desperately, trying to lighten her daughter's burden, but she can't even do it and doesn't give her daughter any trouble.
in the chicken feather house, I saw the weak post-90s girl, their only daughter, Jess.
she can cry in front of the camera, but she dare not shed a tear in front of her parents.
she is almost numb to such a life.
in the last six months, in a few days, a babysitter will call and say that she can no longer work in her house, and she has to explain the family situation to the new babysitter.
she needs to prepare the medicine her father takes in advance. Each medicine is taken at different times and at different times. She puts it in a small box and takes an hour to start.
she asked for leave with her leader to the extent that she was embarrassed, but she could not help it and dared not cut off the money.
from 1980 to 2016, China gave birth to 176 million only children, and now the number is nearly 200 million.
the pain of these 200 million people has come after all.
they are like "chosen children". They were once spoiled and forced to grow up overnight.
just because it's their home, not someone else's.
this generation has entered middle age early
when the major media reported on the only child, the key words were doting, pampering and selfishness. They did get the favor of the whole family, but they also had more pressure from an early age.
the whole family's energy is focused on them, even if there is only one piece of candy in the family, it is in their mouth.
all parents' expectations of their children are pinned on one child.
their childhood, without the jealousy of brothers and sisters, no particularly close playmates, every day is homework and play, life is extremely simple.
but before they can adapt to society, the only children are carried into middle age.
at the beginning of this year, someone posted a post crying: "our generation of only children always feel that they have not yet grown up, how can their parents get old?"
she was pregnant in 19, when her mother was sick and could not come to accompany the bed.
she was terribly sad, but in order to save the baby's milk, she had to endure distraction and calm down.
before the baby was born, she wondered whether her mother-in-law and her mother's family would rush to take it.
when the baby is really born, the mother can't even see the child because she is ill, and her mother-in-law has high blood pressure. She panicked for a moment.
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later, my mother-in-law's high blood pressure was relieved, and the matter of taking care of the children was settled.
and just this year, her father was hospitalized because of diabetes. This time she was calmer than she thought. She took her father's examination and took care of him in bed without a word of complaint.
whether the children grow up or not, the parents have grown old.
the earliest only child has reached the age of 40, in fact, their middle age is much earlier than expected.
the energetic mother kept a pile of health products in the box, saying that she was prepared for trouble. My father, who loved eating big fish and meat, made it a habit to eat porridge, which he had never liked before.
they will call again and again, day or night, whether you have a meeting or not, there are only those two wheeling words that have to be told to you every day.
when parents' physical functions are declining, who can guarantee that they will not get sick for the rest of their lives?
every time I hear someone say:
"Aunt Zhang upstairs left, and her daughter went to work out of town and didn't come back."
"the kid you played with when you were a kid, her father had a heart attack, so take the time to have a look."
the hearts of only children will "thump". We are walking in the middle of life, but our parents will come to the end.
any accident is the last straw that crushes the camel.
how much does it cost to support a family?
@ Deep-sea caviar
and her husband both earn more than 10,000 a month, and the old people in the family are also in good health, but the family bills she posted can't help trembling.
she works in Zhengzhou and rents a house of 1900 yuan a month, because she wants to have a small family of her own so much that she buys a house on a loan in the prefecture and city, and has to repay 3300 of the mortgage.
these, together with property fees, parking fees and heating fees, cost 5900 yuan per month;
car loan, gas fee, plus occasional accidental mending, 5730 yuan per month;
the child's milk powder money, diapers, toys and supplementary food, a total of 1680 yuan;
vegetable shopping, takeout, daily necessities, clothes, 4100 yuan per month.
there are no recreational activities, nor is it extravagance and waste, but her family spends at least 17410 yuan a month, leaving almost nothing left.
she didn't dare to think about human relations, illness, and sudden layoffs.
and this income standardHow many people can reach it?
according to the national economic operation data released by the National Bureau of Statistics in the first three quarters of this year, the per capita disposable income of residents is 26265 yuan, and the average monthly income is only about 3000 yuan.
not to mention their consumption, there are too many things not involved.
for example, if it is inconvenient for parents to move, should they hire a nurse?
if you spend NT $5,000 or NT $6,000 a month, families who are not so well-off will more or less fail, not to mention the only children who are still working, their monthly wages are not necessarily enough to pay for nursing workers.
even if you consider going to a nursing home, it will be at least 3500-7500 a month, and there are still many old people who can't stand in line and won't be able to live there for two or three years.
and the money for raising children is not just the original money for diapers and milk powder.
before the age of 18, it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars for children to go to school, attend interest classes, and spend on food and clothing.
if you want him to broaden his horizons and take him on a trip, it will be a lot of money.
"People's Daily" interviewed a migrant worker who received 8 yuan per square meter of construction project from the upstream, and then allocated it at a labor cost of 3.50 yuan per square meter, a material cost of 3.50 yuan, and a net profit of less than 1 yuan.
especially when there is no project, food, clothing, housing and transportation are particularly difficult.
he wants to buy a car, but he can't afford to keep it.
A worker caught a cold and caused pneumonia and stayed in the hospital for more than ten days, because he could not be reimbursed for seeing a doctor in other places. It cost him NT $4,000 or NT $5,000 at a time.
the lives of ordinary people are the rest of their lives.
those who try their best to make money are not greedy for money, but just don't want to be inferior to anyone for money. They just want to give themselves and their families a shelter from the rain.
brothers and sisters can still share with each other, but for only children, they have only themselves.
this has nothing to do with their decision, but it is their responsibility.
the life of an only child is difficult to enter and retreat
what this generation fears most sometimes has nothing to do with money:
on the evening of August 8, an old man surnamed Zhang in Handan, Hebei Province was beaten by a nurse with swollen eyes, congested ear canal, dizziness and nausea.
the reason is that the nursing home did not give him mosquito-repellent incense the day before, and he went to the staff to ask for it and got such a result.
some nurses are invited to their homes, but they are unpreventable, and they even steal money from the old man's clothes.
as an only child, the older we grow up, the less we can watch the news of old people being bullied, because we always think, "what if it's our parents?"
even if you give enough money, how many people can do their best like their own children?
even if the nursing workers are dedicated and professional, as the debater of "Strange Theory" said, kindergarten teachers were also professional when they were young, but you still want to live with your parents.
parents may be cruel and say, "send me to a nursing home."
but you know, what they really say is not necessarily the truth. They have paid all their lives for you. When they need your company most, what they want is not to affect you.
but is it companionship to take them with you?
Aunt Yang in Beijing lives in her daughter's house, but she always feels like she is in someone else's house. Life is not a familiar life, and a neighbor is not a familiar friend.
there are more than a dozen buttons on the microwave oven, and she doesn't know which one to press;
the toilet in her daughter's house is different from the toilet in her hometown, so Aunt Yang has to go to the mall to go to the toilet under the excuse of "going out for a while" every time.
in an unfamiliar environment, they become flinching.
even the swindlers found it comforting to ask questions, and they were willing to send the money up obediently, because their own children said so few intimate words that they did not even cheat.
this is the only child's greatest sadness: they blame themselves, but they can't change, they are tired, but they can't stop.
if you pick up work, you will not be able to accompany your family, and if you let go of your work, you will not be able to support your family. Day after day, it is difficult for them to enter and retreat.
as they slowly enter middle age, they have had enough of the sufferings of the only child, and many people say that they will not let their children be the only child again.
it's just that the life of a family is not easy now. It's not easy to raise a child alone, and some people are fired when they ask for leave because the child is sick. The second and third children also need money and company.
what to take to feed them is still unknown to the only child generation.
there is a reader's message in the background:
"I am afraid that one day, no matter how hard the children try, they will not be able to live a superior life.
I'm afraid that one day, no matter how filial piety is, I can't afford my parents' loneliness.
I'm afraid that one day, I'll end up with chicken feathers all I have.
I am an only child, and the midlife crisis is not empty talk.
with the elimination of competition for jobs, the education of children and the companionship of parents for the aged, I have no time for myself. "
the only child generation, perhaps from birth, is not destined to be so simple.
when I was a child, I received the only love, and when I grew up, I was bound to have more responsibilities. This is the dilemma of the only child.
, give them some strength.
if God is fair, may they be happier.