Xie Na revealed that she had removed the fallopian tube, and Zhang Jie's reaction was unforgettable.
It is hoped that more men will be able to bear their due parenting and family responsibilities.
small ten points
it was Zhang Jie's 39th birthday a few days ago. Xie Na sent her best wishes to herself and her children.
netizens also wish them happiness forever.
from two young people who were in their twenties to a happy family of five:
the two people have experienced the transformation from "partner" to "parent" status, but also experienced too many little-known hidden pains.
in the book written by Xie Na when she was pregnant with twin daughters, she revealed that she had enlarged ovarian cysts and severe inflammation of fallopian tubes:
one side of the fallopian tube was removed.
for a time, I thought I couldn't get pregnant, and I didn't have a chance to be a mother in this life.
for fear of her parents' worry, Zhang Jie did the operation alone with her.
sign under great psychological pressure and take care of her.
this operation changed Xie Na and Zhang Jie.
after every woman becomes a mother
is an unknown fear
after the operation, Xie Na mistakenly thought that the fallopian tubes had been completely removed.
the whole person froze, close to the brink of collapse.
the doctor comforted her that one side of the fallopian tube was removed, which did not affect fertility.
but her heart is still very uncomfortable, it is a part of the body, but also a very important part of becoming a mother in the future, one is certainly not as good as two.
although under the comfort of Zhang Jie, "your body is the most important, you should take more care of yourself, after you have a good body can be a good mother, I will always accompany you."
she gradually relieved, but her worries about her children were never completely dispelled.
for this reason, she laid down her work to take care of her health, and even after she successfully conceived a child, she kept worrying:
are the babies'"houses" strong enough, and can their strained psoas muscles and spines bear the weight of two babies?
Sister Na, who has always been able to handle things, is really afraid in the face of having to carry two little lives at once.
she cut her long hair for a long time, never wore makeup during pregnancy, refused the stylist's demands and insisted on wearing flat shoes that didn't show the queen's domineering style.
when you go to the hospital for examination, carefully observe every expression of the doctor.
if the expression on the doctor's face is gentle, the heart will be relaxed; if the doctor's expression is suddenly serious, the heart will suddenly tighten.
on the day when I didn't go to the hospital for B-ultrasound examination, I listened to the child's heartbeat at home alone with the fetal heart.
when I couldn't find the location of the baby, I was worried to death: "Why can't I hear the heartbeat?"
fear that you will not be able to conceive a child, that you will not be able to keep and lose your child.
after every woman becomes a mother, there is such a long ordeal and fear.
I have seen a mother say:
I have been pregnant for more than a year, but every time my aunt comes, I feel like crying.
the antenatal examination said that I had a high umbilical cord blood flow and asked me to breathe oxygen for two days. If the review is still high, it is necessary to be hospitalized, because it will cause the baby to suffer from hypoxic cerebral palsy and cry when he gets home.
Jesse Greenglass once said in "the Great events of our lives":
"A woman's mood is always much more complicated than that of a man becoming a father when she knows she is pregnant and is going to be a mother."
apart from the joy of motherhood, they also have unknown fears and sufferings.
they are the only ones who share the heartbeat, and they grow armor for their children.
but children are also their biggest weakness.
marry a person or a ghost
if you get pregnant and have a baby, you will know
during Xie Na's salpingectomy, Zhang Jie gave her great comfort.
before the operation, "your body is the most important, I will always be with you";
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during the operation, I have been sending messages to Xie Na at the door of the operating room:
Nana, how long has it been? I think that's the longest time.
will it hurt you a lot? get a good night's sleep, your brother will be by your side all the time.
it should not be cold. I will hug you in a minute. In the future, I will strictly supervise you, rest, eat, and take care of your body.
after the operation, he told Xie Na that he felt that he had suddenly grown up a lot, and that he would be responsible for all her things in the future.
Xie Na was so painful that she couldn't sleep at night, so Zhang Jie got up with her and went to the balcony slowly.
Xie Na eats a bowl of mash Yuanzi after 4 o'clock every morning, which is the only meal she won't spit out in a day.
Zhang Jie got up motionless and cooked for her.
Fertility is not only a dead end, but also a trial field of emotion and character.
if you marry a person or a ghost, is it reliable? do you have a sense of responsibility? you will know if you are pregnant and have a child.
for the sake of good skin, the mother insists on eating fruit, which is all peeled by the father.
all examinations are accompanied from the beginning of pregnancy to before giving birth;
when giving birth, my father was anxious outside the delivery room and worried about his mother's body, so he had to experience heart-wrenching pain.
after giving birth to the baby in the hospital for seven days, the father crouched on the ground, sat on the newspaper, and stayed up in a palm-sized place for several nights.
there are also two videos online two days ago, one of which shows the husband accompanying his wife to the antenatal examination.
the corridor of the hospital is full of people. When there is no seat, the husband squats down as a human flesh cushion and lets his wife sit on his back.
not only that, but also handed the cup to his wife from below and told her to drink water.
one is the husband takes care of his postpartum wife and children, skin care, massage, diaper change, full of carefulness and carefulness.
every time I see such a story, I feel happy for my mothers to marry the right person.
but it is a pity that some people ask for warmth before pregnancy, while others don't care.
I once saw a mother complain about her husband that she had a big belly during pregnancy and had to mop the floor at home to do housework.
her husband sat on the sofa and brushed his cell phone without looking up at her.
some people outside the delivery room are anxious and worried, and some people have to consider their mother first, regardless of the cost.
but there are also people who hesitate to "get a painless injection" and refuse to sign in times of crisis, or cannot find anyone to sign.
once saw a true story, a pregnant woman had a lot of uterine bleeding, the condition was critical, and her family was in urgent need of signature.
the pregnant woman called many times but no one answered, and the nurse ran into the corridor to shout for her family several times, but no one answered.
many medical staff helped to find the family behind the door of a fire passageway above the delivery room.
he is sitting on the ground playing cards with several people excitedly.
it is heartbreaking to have a pregnant woman in Yulin who hopelessly jumped off a building because her husband refused to sign, and a pregnant woman in Hangzhou who left behind "I hate you all my life."
pregnancy and childbirth are like a mirror.
reflects the responsibilities and responsibilities of some men, as well as the selfishness and coolness of some men.
the sacrifice and sacrifice of mothers
requires real support
from pregnancy and childbirth to parenting and family care, mothers are for children and small families:
made a lot of visible, invisible, concessions and giving.
from widowed pregnancy to widowed parenting:
if a man can't give support, he must not be a good husband.
and when a man is not a good husband and cannot support his wife, he may not be a good father either.
We often call for understanding and seeing what women give, but this is only the first step in changing our minds.
what is more important is that men make changes in terms of actual action.
for example, give a wife a strong shoulder when she is pregnant and give birth to a child;
for example, when the wife takes care of the family, when she is busy, she will give her a real share.
data show that women work 15 hours more per week than men.
this means that women work a whole month more each year than men (24 hours a day).
at the same time, data show that if women give birth to one child, the employment chance of women will drop by 6.6%, and that of having a second child will drop by 9.3% again.
Invisible Women: sociology of Family Affairs once wrote:
"Women's actual work in the family is hidden behind their gender assumptions as wives and mothers.
it is as if women's unpaid work in the family is not a job at all. "
when women are trapped in the shackles of parenting and housework, sacrificing their opportunities and resources, they put themselves in an economically and socially disadvantaged position:
the sharing and commitment of men can only be fair.
A woman becomes a mother, perhaps by giving up and sacrificing herself.
but when a man becomes a father, he should not start by neglecting and sacrificing his wife.
attach importance to women's reproductive costs, recognize the labor value of stay-at-home mothers, and safeguard the interests of married women;
after mothers have made sacrifices, affirm that their material and spiritual support needs are legitimate needs;
and the legitimate need not to belittle, stigmatize and humiliate them.
after the Wu Jing fire, Xie Nan was told by netizens to go back to being a "housewife" (a typical pseudonym) for making a small film.
"the box office is only 1 million, so you'd better wait on your husband and children at home and come out to make some movies!"
on the other hand, Wu Jing is a strong supporter, saying in an interview:
to support your partner's career and choices, husbands should take care of the family with their partner.
this is not only a matter in the social sense, but also a key factor in the stability of small families.
Men and husbands who have vested interests in marriage need to see, attach importance to, and stand up for their support.
I hope that more men will be able to shoulder their due parenting and family responsibilities.