Marriage is a lifetime thing, and no one can pay and be responsible for you but yourself.
an event that happened recently made me feel a lot.
here's the thing:
my cousin talked about a boyfriend and they have been together for more than a year.
although the time is not long, but because my cousin is not young and her family is under pressure, she wants to settle the marriage as soon as possible.
the boy was very happy at first, and said happily that he would go back to discuss the bride price with his family, and then find a time to get the two families together for dinner.
on my cousin's side, my uncles and aunts have already started looking for someone to look at the day. But the boy suddenly said that the marriage would not be done, at least not at this stage.
because boys are outsiders, and uncles and aunts don't want their cousins to marry far away. They said that if they want to get married, boys have to buy a house in our county.
as parents, who is willing to hold their own daughter who grew up in the palm of her hand to marry far away from home and have no one to rely on?
but the boy's parents turned their faces when they heard the news.
"I can't let my son come to you. If your daughter wants to marry, the couple will have to live on our side, otherwise don't mention it." If we don't marry, so much the better. We can marry a local one who is close to each other and has fewer things to do. "
Uncle and aunt looked at their attitude and said they didn't want to let their cousin continue to be with the boy.
I used to be young and unworldly, and I always felt that falling in love was a matter for two people. As long as two people liked each other, it didn't matter what other people's opinions were.
now I realize that falling in love is different from getting married.
Love can be a matter for two people, but marriage is a matter for two families.
when you fall in love, you can be romantic, regardless of the happiness and romance in front of you. But if you get married, you have to consider the family life after marriage.
not only that, but also consider the families of both parties.
this family means not only the financial conditions of the family, whether the family is rich and rich, but more importantly, it depends on whether the ideas and ideas of the two families are the same, and whether the principles of behavior in other aspects are harmonious in dealing with the world and dealing with others.
"in marriage, it is absurd to think only about family means, but it is foolish not to consider them."
just like love, you can't just focus on the present. If you want to marry Qin and Jin forever, you have to plan for the future.
in this future, in addition to the young couple of the new family, there will also be other members of both families.
especially each other's parents, parents' attitudes can also influence or determine the success or failure of a marriage to a large extent.
there is a topic on Zhihu, which is discussed:
the comment with the highest likes says:
"A lot of times, my mother-in-law, just like her mother, feels that she has not married to her mother-in-law, but returned to her mother's family."
said that she married her husband in large part because she took a fancy to his family's good family atmosphere.
her mother-in-law and father-in-law are easy-going people, easy-going and close to each other. Although they are highly educated families, they are not arrogant at all.
when she and her husband were still in love, her mother-in-law often cooked all kinds of delicious food for her. Every holiday, I will give her red envelopes and buy gifts.
getting married, she and her husband moved out. Knowing that she likes to be quiet, her mother-in-law never takes the initiative to disturb them.
even when she said she didn't want to have a baby, her mother-in-law and father-in-law didn't mind, saying that as long as they were happy, they would decide whether to have a baby or not.
married life, even if the chicken feathers, with the support of two families, no matter how big the difficulties, will have the courage and courage to face it.
Marriage, to put it bluntly, not only this person, but also the whole family behind this person.
therefore, it is very necessary to look at each other's family before getting married.
Why does marriage depend on each other's family circumstances? I have heard a great answer:
"everyone's character hides their inherent values, which are influenced by the family environment and educational environment over the years."
that is to say, everyone's behavior, style and attitude are to some extent related to the family behind him, and even to his parents and family.
if this person is always submissive, indecisive, and likes to evade problems, he may live in an environment that has been decided and manipulated for a long time, and has a father or mother who likes to make decisions on his own.
if this person is impatient and his temper explodes a little, his parents may not have a good temper, and he may have been scolded and scolded from an early age.
The mother of the groom dresses for summer comes in lovely arrays of textile, color, designs and fits. Our unique selections would be the best gift.
similarly, if this person is cheerful and optimistic, positive and sunny, it shows that his family atmosphere is very relaxed, and his parents give him a lot of room to grow up.
Life is only a few decades, the person who wants to spend his life with us in the future, he may not be so handsome, not so rich, not so humorous and romantic, but he must have a good character, responsibility and responsibility.
so girls, out of responsibility for themselves, whether in love or marriage, should keep their eyes open and stay awake.
if you want to love and marry, you must love one and marryA person who passes the standards of character and family.
after all, marriage is a lifetime thing, and no one can pay and be responsible for you but yourself.
the above encouragement.