There is a kind of high EQ, which is called "be clear in case of trouble".
Being able to think of others and behave appropriately is a rare high EQ.
some time ago, a popular video rushed to the top of the list of a website.
an old man on a tricycle, dressed in shabby clothes, accidentally rubbed against a car parked by the side of the road because of improper riding.
when the old man saw this, he quickly apologized to the car owner and wobbly took out the cash from his pocket under several layers of cotton-padded clothes and handed it to the car owner.
he still said, "I'm sorry." I'm old. I didn't stop. "
neither relied on the old to sell the old, nor cried miserably to the car owner, the old man's approach touched many netizens and called out: be a man without ambiguity.
however, in real life, we always meet people who are confused about everything.
meeting such a person will not only bring trouble to yourself, but also turn life into a mess.
not knowing what to do is annoying
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writer Li Shanglong once mentioned a story in his life.
he has a female friend with a good relationship, cheerful and caring, but sometimes he doesn't know what to say.
once Li Shanglong bought two identical jackets and usually changed them for filming and class.
every time a friend is curious, he will explain patiently.
but even though she knew the truth, the female friend still said bluntly:
"this dress of yours is so ugly that you wear it all the time. It looks like a reform-through-labor convict."
Li Shanglong's face suddenly changed.
another time Li Shanglong looked through the approved script at home. When the female friend knew about it, she asked him for the script and said she wanted to read it.
soon after Li Shanglong sent her the script, he received a call from her. Before he could hold the phone, he heard the other person say:
"the plot is not attractive at all. After watching the first episode, I don't want to read on."... "
Li Shanglong patiently listened to her criticism, but also wanted to end the call as soon as possible.
regardless of other people's self-esteem, words spoken without thinking will sometimes be like a sharp blade, leaving others with wounds that are difficult to heal.
such people, like a prickly hedgehog, will have a strong sense of insecurity when they get along, because they don't know when they will be hurt by language again.
getting along with others and knowing how to speak clearly is the most basic accomplishment.
can't pick up the boundary and cut off communication
A reader said something that happened to him.
he recently broke up with a good friend he has known since college.
after graduation, he went into a private company, while his friend chose to open a bar on his own.
after years of hard work in the workplace, readers have become more mature and are gradually valued by the leaders of the company, handing over important projects to him many times.
while his friends are dawdling along, the bar business has not been improving.
A few days ago, the company gave him a very important project, and he is also in a critical period of promotion, if completed well, promotion should not be a big problem.
but at this juncture, his friend asked him to go for a drink, but he refused because he was busy with his work, but his friend came downstairs to wait for him.
when he was helplessly taken to the bar by his friends, he was drunk by the people present and came home drunk at night, which made his wife have a lot of misunderstandings.
the reader wants a friend to explain to his wife on the phone, who knows that the other person is adding to the phone.
afterwards, he also said that a man just can't spoil his wife too much and says that he only tells his wife the truth because he regards the reader as a friend.
because of drinking, the work status of the next day was also very poor, the project report was directly affected, and the promotion was delayed.
since this incident, the reader has completely cut off from his friend.
inappropriately interfere with other people's choices and do things without a sense of boundary, which will make others farther and farther away from you sooner or later.
there is a sentence in the TV series Please answer 1988:
"the so-called boundary means to go there."
regardless of the distance or proximity of the relationship, we do not know each other's state, so directly imposing our own ideas on each other is not only useless, but also leaves the bad impression of "not being able to do things clearly".
everyone has their own situation, they are independent individuals, and there are natural boundaries between each other.
if you ignore this boundary and break it without authorization, causing interference to others, it will also make the relationship go downhill.
can't tell the difference between right and wrong, the heart is cool
there are such people who, in order to save face, make no distinction between right and wrong, and speak in total disregard of the feelings of the people around them.
on Zhihu, some netizens said something that happened to them, and they felt heartbroken after reading it.
once a netizen went out to dinner with her husband, and when they were eating, the waiter put two bottles of drinks directly on the table.
the netizen did not order a drink, so he politely told the waiter, "neither of us ordered. You should have made a mistake."
after hearing this, the waiter not only did not take away the drink, but said in a positive tone: "this is what you ordered."
netizens thought that there were many people eating, and it was normal to make a mistake, so they reiterated that there was no order, and they could check the bill.
the waiter may be reluctant to get the bill because of something else, with some emotion.
the netizen was about to argue with the waiter again, and the husband sitting opposite spoke:
"you just ordered, how come you don't remember!"
hearing this, the netizen immediately got angry and shouted to her husband:
"I didn't order it. I can just take a look at the bill."
the husband suddenly lost face and immediately roared:
"it doesn't matter if he doesn't order or drink, it's only a matter of how much it costs!"
then he said with a straight face, "either don't mention it and continue to eat, or check out and stop eating."
after saying this, the husband turned to check out the bill directly.
throughout the process, the waiter stood by, his waist upright and upright.
this little thing is enough to reflect the husband's vague view of right and wrong.
if you can't figure out who's right and who's wrong, if you don't know the cause of the matter, you will directly criticize it, which will not only hurt people's hearts, but also be very immature.
having the correct ability to distinguish between right and wrong is the basic embodiment of adult maturity.
the concept of right and wrong also reflects a person's principle and attitude towards problems.
in the face of conflict, distinguishing right from wrong is a sign of high EQ.
Adults need to have an unstated sense of proportion in their communication.
only by mastering moderation can we give each other proper space and let the relationship spread forward.
being able to carry it clearly also represents a kind of self-cultivation, which does not embarrass others or cause trouble to oneself.
being respected by others also makes the relationship between the two people more harmonious.
A story in the book of writer Jia Pingwa is often used by me to warn myself. Every time I read it, I feel the charm of upbringing.
"A friend stutters and speaks slowly.
one day when someone asked for directions on the road, this person actually stuttered, and his friend didn't say a word.
then I asked him why he didn't say it, and his friend replied, 'people stutter, too. I'm going to answer. That person thinks I'm imitating and teasing.' "
being able to think of others and behave appropriately is a rare high EQ.
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